• Jeff South

Blogtober 2021: Pest


THERAPIST: You're still experiencing what you believe to be paranormal activity?

ME: I don't know what else to call it. At first, it was like some annoying pest, but now it's truly frightening. What can you tell me about possible recurrent spontaneous psychokinesis.

THERAPIST: I'm not really fluent in parapsychology.

ME: Well, if you ever want to go down a helluva rabbit hole...

THERAPIST: Last time we talked I mentioned that this is the type of thing that is usually brought on by stress or emotional trauma. Have you given that more thought?

ME: I have, but I'm not sure exactly what it would be. I've never really experienced trauma and I usually let stress roll off my back. I don't get too worked up.

THERAPIST: Are you sure you're being honest with yourself? Sometimes these things are repressed. Maybe you need to dig a little deeper.

ME: I tried making a list but I got writer's block and then I got distracted.

THERAPIST: Distracted? How?

ME: The aforementioned rabbit hole of parapsychology. I started researching the internet and went from reading parapsychology to watching the video for Dr. Hook's "Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk" on YouTube over and over. I lost two hours of my day.

I really hate it when that happens.

THERAPIST: Do you get upset with yourself when that happens?

ME: Oh, sure. Drives me crazy. I mean, it's fun in the moment, but I end up feeling really awful. Like I've let people down somehow because of all the time wasted.

THERAPIST: Do you worry about letting people down?

ME: Constantly.

THERAPIST: Like who?

ME: My wife. My kids. My grandkids. My boss. My co-workers. People on social media. You. Myself.

THERAPIST: Why does that concern you so much?

ME: Probably because I've disappointed them before.

THERAPIST: Have they told you they've been disappointed?

ME: Sometimes. Other times it's a facial expression or a turn of a phrase. A tone. The email masked in corporate speak.

THERAPIST: You haven't disappointed me.

ME: Wait til you get to know me.

THERAPIST: Our time is up. Want to meet again next week?

ME: Sure, yeah. Let's do it.

THERAPIST: You okay there? You're rubbing your chest? Are you in pain?

ME: I just don't want to go home. My wife has left for a retreat.

THERAPIST: Do you not like being alone?

ME: Not with my thoughts, I don't.

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