Blogtober 2021: Pest
WORK FROM HOME, DAY 27
THERAPIST: You're still experiencing what you believe to be paranormal activity?
ME: I don't know what else to call it. At first, it was like some annoying pest, but now it's truly frightening. What can you tell me about possible recurrent spontaneous psychokinesis.
THERAPIST: I'm not really fluent in parapsychology.
ME: Well, if you ever want to go down a helluva rabbit hole...
THERAPIST: Last time we talked I mentioned that this is the type of thing that is usually brought on by stress or emotional trauma. Have you given that more thought?
ME: I have, but I'm not sure exactly what it would be. I've never really experienced trauma and I usually let stress roll off my back. I don't get too worked up.
THERAPIST: Are you sure you're being honest with yourself? Sometimes these things are repressed. Maybe you need to dig a little deeper.
ME: I tried making a list but I got writer's block and then I got distracted.
THERAPIST: Distracted? How?
ME: The aforementioned rabbit hole of parapsychology. I started researching the internet and went from reading parapsychology to watching the video for Dr. Hook's "Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk" on YouTube over and over. I lost two hours of my day.
I really hate it when that happens.
THERAPIST: Do you get upset with yourself when that happens?
ME: Oh, sure. Drives me crazy. I mean, it's fun in the moment, but I end up feeling really awful. Like I've let people down somehow because of all the time wasted.
THERAPIST: Do you worry about letting people down?
THERAPIST: Like who?
ME: My wife. My kids. My grandkids. My boss. My co-workers. People on social media. You. Myself.
THERAPIST: Why does that concern you so much?
ME: Probably because I've disappointed them before.
THERAPIST: Have they told you they've been disappointed?
ME: Sometimes. Other times it's a facial expression or a turn of a phrase. A tone. The email masked in corporate speak.
THERAPIST: You haven't disappointed me.
ME: Wait til you get to know me.
THERAPIST: Our time is up. Want to meet again next week?
ME: Sure, yeah. Let's do it.
THERAPIST: You okay there? You're rubbing your chest? Are you in pain?
ME: I just don't want to go home. My wife has left for a retreat.
THERAPIST: Do you not like being alone?
ME: Not with my thoughts, I don't.