• Jeff South

Cincinnati Chili: Tasty

Grover was escorted to another small conference room alone where he sat at a laptop computer watching an online training session called Herpezoid Engagement and Capture: Tips & Techniques. The voice coming through the headphones connected to the laptop spoke of the proper maintenance and use of his new P-47 Electro-Photon Multiblaster, the name of the gun presented to him by Dr. Marsh and the HR representative.

“The most effective way to dispose of a Herpezoid alien is to point your P-47 Electro-Photon Multiblaster and pull the trigger. A blast of energy will fire and hit your target, if you have aimed correctly. The blast will land and dissolve the creature into a gelatinous blob, which you will need to collect into your Herpezoid Containment Device. If you do not have your containment device, use your Corporate-issued handheld device to call for cleanup. The appropriate parties will be dispersed to your location to complete the task.”

There was more, but much of it played as background noise as Grover daydreamed of doing anything other than what he was about to. Eating aluminum foil came to mind. As did cleaning one of the men’s rooms in Corporate HQ with his tongue. Both of those held greater appeal than carrying out this task. He wanted to cold beer and a tasty burger. So, why didn’t he just quit?

Because Dr. Marsh told him he had not received the Cincinnati Chili email by accident, but he couldn’t learn more until he did this job.

Grover closed the laptop when the training ended and walked to his car as storm clouds gathered in the late afternoon sky.


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