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  • Writer's pictureJeff South

300 Random Prompts: Day 10

NOTE: Day 8 was reserved for my review of Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, which is a movie you should watch. Day 9 didn't happen yesterday because I had a very full day of work and, frankly, I was exhausted last night. I make no promises that this post makes up for that.

TODAY'S RANDOM PROMPT: You have two hours to do something relaxing and a budget of $100. What will you do?

The answer is a massage. I would get a massage. This really isn't a debate. There was a time when I wouldn't have considered using my $100 on a massage, but after my very first experience, I saw the light and now know that a good massage with a Groupon with my $100. That first experience is a pretty funny story, actually.

It was 2012 and my wife and I went to Branson to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. We found a great deal on a hotel room that turned out to be a one-bedroom apartment with a full kitchen and a Jacuzzi tub. Part of our weekend included a couples' spa package that included a 60-minute massage for both of us. My wife also got a mani-pedi and I think I got a facial or something. I don't really remember because of the experience of the massage.

While my wife went for her massage, a young woman dressed in medical scrubs led me into a dimly lit room. Soothing music and ambient noise played.

"Is this your first massage?" she asked and I nodded. "Great. So, all you need to do is disrobe to your comfort level and then lie face down on the table." She gestured to the massage table and I nodded again. Easy-peasy.

I took off my light sweater and the white t-shirt underneath. Folded them and placed them in the chair in the corner. I then kicked off my Sketchers and took off my socks that, if memory serves, had cartoon raptors on them. The room temperature was perfect. Not too warm. Certainly no chill to the space. Comfortable. Relaxing. This will be a pleasant experience. As instructed, I lay face down on the massage table. The masseuse knocked, poked her head in the room, and asked if I was ready.

"I am," I said.

It was then that she noticed that I, a newbie to massage protocol, had failed to take off my pants. I was just laying there in my pants. No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Okay," she said with a patient sigh. "I'm going to leave again and you're going finish undressing and get under the sheet."

"Sorry," I said. "So just take it all off?"

"And get under the sheet."

I gave her two thumbs up and she left while I complied with her instructions. I climbed under the sheet, face down again, and she re-entered.

"That's better," she said with a laugh.

"I'm going to be your story for the day, aren't I?" I asked.

"Yes, you are," she said. "Maybe even for the week."

The massage was very relaxing and she alleviated some neck and shoulder pain I was experiencing due to a knotted muscle against my left shoulder blade. She finished, told me to take my time getting dressed, and she would meet me downstairs for the next part of the spa.

"Should I put my jeans on, too?" I asked because I'm such a clever guy. She laughed and left while I got dressed and wondered how I would live this down.

When I made it downstairs, she had already told my wife what happened and was now talking to two other masseuses who were now looking at me and giggling. Yes, I was definitely going to be her story for at least the next week.

Any time I get a massage now I think about that first time and what a rube or bumpkin I must've seemed. I then wonder if that young lady still shares that story.

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