Herpezoids don't celebrate Christmas. I know this because of the nanotech downloaded into my brain. It contains all the known information...

We are gathered. The Fellowship of the Herpezoid Hunters Who WIll Save My Mom and Christmas. It's a working title. Kevin's private room...

I have rules about pizza. I call them Kilroy's Rules About Pizza. Mom calls them Jeff's Nonsense About Pizza because she doesn't take...

My mom's favorite Christmas song is "Jingle Bell Rock," but only the Hall & Oates version. "It is the definitive recording of that song,"...

Herpezoids have my mom. I repeat, Herpezoids have my mom. The vermin of cosmos abducted the woman who brought me into this world and have...

Funny thing about rain is the how it can be warm and soothing and help you sleep but also be cold and harsh and stress you out. The cold,...

How my day is going so far (presented in bullet points because I want to work in bullet points more): Leigh Ann has apparently fallen off...

The sound of the quintonium drive humming under the hood of the Dodge van is all that fills the silence. Marlene not texting Tony yet...

Tony is staring at his phone while another freezer bag of Herpezoid goo sits on the console between us. Normally, a Herpezoid won't shut...

Here's the thing about Santa Claus: I was always skeptical. My earliest memories of the whole St. Nick thing involved the usual...

Tony agrees to run some errands with me for Mom. She texted me a laundry list of assorted shit she insists she needs for the Corporate...

Someone Else's Books is more Tony's kind of place than mine. I like that it used to be an old house and that all the rooms in it are...

It is not snowing in Poplar Bluff, but, hey, it is raining, which is perfect if you like your holiday season drab, gray, dreary, blah,...

Road trips require a playlist. Intergalactic road trips spanning astronomical light years via a series of portals require a special...

It never snows on Nitz. A number of atmospheric and gravitational reasons account for this and it is absolutely bitching that I know...

I hadn't planned to save Christmas from Herpezoids but here we are ass deep in those intergalactic dirtbags. What was supposed to a be an...

Times such as these make us crave escapist entertainment and the holidays are the perfect time for you to find those uplifting,...

Word of the Day: Broken Leslie admired the corner chair that now sat in the middle of their garage and wondered if this while Marty...

Word of the Day: Burn “What is wrong with you?” Leslie shook her head at her husband and used her inner monologue to remind her why she...

Word of the day: Jump “Terry,” Marty said, “I’d like to speak to my wife, please.” Leslie stood and stepped toward Marty. Her sinister...